Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Parenting 101: Um, This Should Be Obvious, But ... Don't Bring Your Baby To A Bar. Please.

What about bars doesn't the dad in this story understand?

It's a place where people that are of drinking age go ... to drink alcohol.

Late Blooming Mom sometimes misses adult life, adult conversation, adult beverages.  "Miss" is actually too weak a word.  Sometimes I crave it.  Sometimes I'm almost desperate for it.

But not so desperate that I would take a kid -- let alone a baby -- to a bar.

To the dad in this story, I gotta say:  if you need a drink and you need to do it out of the house, get a damn babysitter.

It's not that I mind having your kid see you drink beer or wine or a cocktail.  But they can do so at home, or when you're with them at a party with other adults, some not drinking, where there are kids and kid-activities and you're not about to get into a car and drive them home. 

Now this dad gets his drinks in Brooklyn, NY, and has his stroller with him, so at least he's not drinking and driving.  But still.  It's a BAR, DUDE!

I don't care that he went there before 7pm.  I don't care that he leaves before it gets rowdy.  It's still no friggin' place for a baby.  Or a twelve-year-old, for that matter. 

There's such a host of things wrong with this idea I hardly know where to begin.  Bars are unsanitary places to bring a baby.  Even if you're not there to get drunk, somebody else there is.  And they don't care if it's before 7pm.  They are not going to be careful around your baby when they weave their way to the men's room or throw up or get into a fight.  So it's not that kind of place, you say?  Again, I say, it's a BAR, DUDE.  And if they're there before 7pm and drinking, don't expect them to be on their best behavior.  Who drinks that early except drunks?

I could go on, but really, parents with half a brain reading this, do I have to?  You get the gist.

I might have a nip when the kids are abed.  I might even indulge once in a while at the dinner table, in front of them.  In fact, I sip wine when we do shabbat dinner at home.  But I ain't takin' my five-year-olds out for beers. And I sure as hell didn't when they were infants. Not even once.

Being a cool, hip parent is one thing.  Being an idiot is an entirely different thing.

After reading this news story, I need a drink.  But you can bet I'm not taking my kids with me.


William V. Madison said...

I’m stupefied by this. I’ve never understood why some people find it so difficult to accept that having children means having to act like a grownup. (At least for 18 years or so.) It’s in the contract, isn’t it? And not even in fine print.

Bad enough that so many Brooklyn parents use baby carriages to act out their hostility: road rage on the sidewalks. My shins bear the scars.

How would I behave if I had kids? I shouldn’t judge. But I do wonder about other people sometimes... what can they be thinking?

Unknown said...

I'm right there with you latebloomingmom. I have stopped going to the movies because I had grown tired of hearing babies cry. What are these parents thinking? What's going to be next, "babies get in free night" at strip clubs?!?