Insomniac Mom: The Human Blackberry

"You're doing it again," my husband said to me in bed the other night.  "You're making lists."

This is what my mind does, compulsively, before I can fall asleep.  I lie in bed and think about all the stuff that's gotta get done -- for work, for the kids, for my husband, for me, for the general maintenance of a family-of-four household.  And I bet I'm far from the only mom who does this.

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Testing 1,2,3 ...

He's testing me and his dad a lot these days.

He says he's not going to Hebrew School ... and waits for a response, lolling idly on the sofa.  We ignore.

A few minutes later, he refuses to come put on his rain boots.  I give up on those -- that's an argument I can afford to lose -- and coax him into his room, where I put him in a cozy sweater and rain jacket.

A few minutes later, at the door, it's "I hate this day," and "I'm not going."  This time, he loses a sticker on his ready-for-school-on-time chart, and stickers mean something:  once you earn 20, you get a dollar to put in your piggy bank and save up for toys. 

He throws a mini-tantrum.  Then, when Dad gets stern, he starts to laugh.

Dad has had it.  So have I.  It's been testing, testing, testing ever since he's been awake, and it's not even 9 a.m.

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Stealing The Halloween Candy: It's Proust's Fault!

I confess.

I did it.

After the kids were abed, I made my way to the plastic jack-o-lantern buckets on the kitchen counter, and dumped out both kids' hauls on the floor, on the pretext of sorting through any loose, unwrapped candy or candy they could choke on. 

Looking at the bounty before me, childhood memories flooding back, mouth starting to water, suddenly craving artificial-tasting, factory-made, non-artisan treats, I lost all willpower.  Within seconds, I'd unwrapped and devoured my first Fun-Size Nestle's Crunch bar in perhaps a decade.  The Mounds Bar, we're probably talking 25 years.  And this wasn't my first transgression.  At the Halloween party, I ate one of the ghost-shaped cookies too -- smothered in orange frosting.

It's not that I haven't eaten any candy in years.  

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Uber-PTA Moms Vs. The Rest Of Us -- Read My Latest Post For Moms LA

here's the link
Uber-PTA Moms Vs. The Rest Of Us: Can't We All Just Get Along?
and I promise I'll be back blogging here ASAP. 

Mom On The Hamster Wheel

You know that wheel the little furry pets run on endlessly, spinning and spinning and spinning in their cages?

I'm on the Hamster Wheel, and I don't know how to get off.

I read the phrase "Work-Life Balance," and I laugh.  Because there is no such thing.  Not around here.  Around here, there is only the Hamster Wheel.

Here's what life on the Hamster Wheel looks like: 

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The Sorest Loser

"That's not fair!"  - my son to his sister, while playing UNO.

"You're cheating!" - my son to his sister, while playing the card game WAR.

 "You're a liar!" - my son to his sister, while playing Candy Land.

Is it any wonder when I got to the passage about six-year-olds being sore losers in Your Six-Year-Old:  Loving And Defiant,  by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. & Frances Ilg, M.D., that it sounded so familiar?

The wise lady authors say, "To lose with a smile requires first of all that you do not care too terribly about the game -- and that you must be able to take a back seat once in a while.  The ordinary Six-year-old has neither of these abilities.  His emotions are violent and he cares intensely about almost everything.  It is almost impossible for him to take a back seat.  One of the cardinal rules in his life is that he wants and needs to be first."

Yeah, that's my boy ... at least, that's him when playing with his twin sister, who is, of course, also six.

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Whassup With The Potentially Shorter School Year?

This year the school year may wind up being seven days shorter, and I'm steamed about it.  You can read more here:  http://momsla.com/2011/08/the-school-year-may-be-seven-days-shorter-whats-a-working-mom-to-do/